My Mission

Here it is 8pm coming in from a long day of discouragement
and heartache
door after door slammed in our faces for weeks and one
door apologized for me joining the wrong church
my knuckles are red and sore and I don't even want to check
what's under my socks
my back is hurting from carrying my backpack all day I don't
know if I can stay up any longer
I get a text and my heart sinks to my stomach of what it says.
I was with him for 3 months and this is what he does.
We get a call and I go to my knees in tears. I thought we taught
him good enough.
We plan and I throw the phone to my companion and go to
the bedroom and slam the door.
It's 9pm. I shut the lights off in shame. I drop down to the
edge of my bed to pray.
Father why are you putting me through this? Why doesn't
anyone want to hear our message?
Why did you put me with that person for three months? Why doesn't
this person live what we teach him?
I want to keep a smile on my face but it is so dang hard to do that
when you put me through this.
I feel like giving up. Going home throwing in the towel. This isn't for
me. It never was. Amen.
I crawl into bed. It is 1030pm the alarm is set for 630am. I fall asleep
right away.
I find myself underneath a tall oak tree with the sun shining on me. A
Tall man comes up and sits next to me.
He tells me he is Jesus Christ. He goes on and tells me this. "So you feel
discouraged and lots of heartache.
I felt like that when my people wanted to crucify me. So your knuckles
are sore. My hands were sore when they put nails through my hands.
I see that your back hurts from your backpack. My back was in excruciating
pain when I had to carry my cross up to Calvary.
So you had a companion that didn't do what he was supposed to do. I had a
companion that sold my life for 20 pieces of silver.
So you have a person that isn't following everything that you have taught
them. I had disciples that went back to there fishing when I died.
You feel like you wanna give up and quit. I wanted to do that so badly
but I stuck through it because I had a mission to fulfill."
I bowed my head and I started crying. He puts his arm around me and crys
with me.
I looked up at him and asked him "Why did you go through with it?"
He told me "I did it because I love you."
Then I woke up. It was 630 already. I jumped out of bed with a smile on
my face and ready to go out and finish my mission.