NEVER doubt your faith.....

Last week my mom told me that my grandma's spine was ditiriating and she doesn't have that long to live. When she told me that my world went crashing down. I felt helpless and alone. For the past week I have had thoughts running through my head saying "I'm a horrible son and grandson." or " The church is not true. You are not good enough to be a missionary. Heavenly Father doesn't exist" thoughts like that. A few days ago I was talking to the missionary that baptized me Elder Miner and I asked him what should I do cause I can't handle this anymore. He told me "What were the scriptures that you told me to read everyday when I left there" I said "Helaman 5:12 and 2nephi 31:20. But Miner what so those scriptures have to do with anything?" Miner said "Kenny read them." "But Miner what does this have to do with anything." "Kenny just read them." So I did.

 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the ^arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your ^bfoundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty ^cstorm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
Helaman 5:12

And this one to:

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a ^asteadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of ^bhope, and a ^clove of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and ^dendure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have ^eeternal life.
2nephi 31:20

Once I read these scriptures I waited a few minutes to respond so I can gather my thoughts. I wrote "Miner you used my words against me." I can't believe I lost sight of my faith. I was so stupid to ever doubt my faith in heavenly Father. Thank you Elder Miner, Michael Lanham and the other Elders that gave me advice for making me realize what I had lost and what I had gain. A wise person told me:

"There is one thing you need to realize with god and these trials you are going through. God does not PUT trials into our life, but he allows them to happen. There is a difference. And ive realized since being on a mission that God does not let things happen in our lives unless they are going to make us better, or make us stronger. Everything he lets happen in our lives is to benefit us in someway, but it is up to us to learn the lesson from it. I know its not always easy and trials are never fun, but you will grow and learn from it as long as you turn towards your Heavenly Father, and not away from him."
Elder Seth Hanson-from the Montana Billings Mission

I would like to bear my testimony that I know this church is true. I know that the book of Mormon is true and its another testiment of Jesus Christ. I know that when the devil shall send his mighty winds ye his shafts in the wirlwind because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall and when we have a steadfastness in christ and endure to the end we will have eternal life. I know my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ lives today and I say these things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Amen